Authentic mama Angela Wallace
This is the first post in a series where I will be featuring real authentic mamas! If you are interested in being interviewed contact me at mysacredforest at aol dot com- I would love to hear your insights!
I had the pleasure of having Angela as a student in my Herbalist 101 course. She inspired me and all of the other students on a daily basis. Angela was very active in the forum, taking the time to spread her healing wisdom to all of the students who had questions there. I interviewed Angela today about her passions, mothering, and life lessons~ here is what she had to say.
I want to introduce myself. My name is Angela. I’m 37 and a single mother of 2 daughters– Bailey (12) and Skyler (14). I have been divorced from their father for almost 10 years now. I have my AAS degree in Electrical Engineering Technology and have worked in the electronics industry for 18 years, 14 as an electronics technician. For the past 3 years I have been a trainer, teaching people how to build electronics. In my current position , I work for a non-profit company that employs people with varying degree of disability. I help them to learn ways to do their jobs to the best of their individual abilities.
I also have a very small business making herbal and all natural bath and body products– Wicked Witch of Windsor Botanicals. I am a practicing Solitary Wiccan, and have been for about 7 years now. I am very active with my children– both being straight A students, in band and chorus, and on sports teams. I am the secretary of the PTA at their school, and have been for 3 years now. It all keeps me extremely busy, but very fulfilled in the end.
1. What did you learn about yourself (or what has changed you) since you became a mother?
My biggest realization as a mother is selflessness. I was ( and still can be) a very stubborn young woman. I felt that there was one way to do things, and that was the ONLY way to do them. Everything in my life had to be planned to a tee– I had back up plans for back up plans. Children threw that philosophy RIGHT out the window. Structure is good, but being too rigid is just way too stressful for everyone involved.
2. What words of wisdom would you like to share about mothering?
Enjoy being a mother. Play with your kids, let them sleep in your bed just because, sit and watch that silly movie that you can’t stand–just to watch them laugh! All too soon that is gone. Take an active role in their lives. When my girls have friends over, they expect me to sing to American Idol with them, or have the food fight, or just laugh with them. But– let them live their OWN life, and make their own mistakes, too. That’s a hard one for me as my girls are becoming young adults. Bailey is 12 and just hitting puberty– fighting growing up all the way. With her, I have to push her to grow up and take on some bigger responsibilities, find her new self. Skyler on the other hand is 14 going on 21. I have to remind her to slow down and just be a kid some days. I want to impart all my experiences and wisdoms, but every time I hear “You are just too………”, I remember how I felt at that age, and remember that they have to find their own way– with a little discipline, a bit more guidance, and a LOT of patience.
3. How do you channel your creativity (what is your creative outlet/ medium/ special gift)?
I love to create anything, but baking and conjuring my lotions and soaps is where I put my energies. I also am a professional friend 
People come to me and ask me for advice– both personal and even herbal now. For example, my boss had a reaction to some chemicals the other day and I the next thing I know he comes to me “Hey, Angela, where’s that Witch’s brew?”
4. How do you harmonize motherhood and creativity?
Sometimes that is a tough one. I’ve taught my daughters my “craft” and they love to help when they can. It’s gotten so when it comes time for them to go to a birthday party, or to give gifts for any reason, we all brainstorm and try to come up with some unique product to give away– or they will “shop” my lotion closet. Sometimes our creativity is channeled differently– we have “movie night” where we do nothing but watch movies and eat popcorn, or “music night” when we just get silly and sing and dance around the house.
5. Do you have a recent experience or challenge that has changed you (please explain how/why)?
A few, but the main one was the loss of my fiance’ unexpectedly just over a year ago. He suffered massive heart failure in our home. His daughters are 20 and 23, and see me as their step mother, my daughters knew him as a step father. It was a struggle because the company we worked for was in the process of going under, I was not working, and his daughters had only moved into their own apartment the month before. Life as I had known it had ended for me. I really had to evaluate where I was and what I wanted out of life. I was now a widow, not just a single mom. I now had 2 grown daughters who knew no more about taking care of themselves then my young teens did, and 2 young teens that needed their mom to guide the through their grief, and life– and I was on unemployment to boot.
I found an inner strength that I always have had, but really had to pull hard from through it all. Instead of seeing this as a blow to me and just another reason for despair, I used it to make a brand new start. I started a new , more rewarding job in a career field I love. I certainly do not take the little things for granted anymore. I find myself not stressing as much. I still argue with my girls, of course– they ARE teenagers, but I choose my battles more carefully. I make it a point to hug them good bye every morning, and tuck them in every night– and yes, they actually won’t go to sleep unless I do, even at 12 and 14! As for my “step” daughters– they have their own challenges, but are blossoming into beautiful, self sufficient young women. The 20 year old is now a recovering drug and alcohol addict. She struggles daily with it, but she is clean, and she is hopeful for the first time since she was 16 years old.
6. What would you like to say to mothers going through similar challenges?
The one thing that gets me through the tough times is remembering that we do what we have to to survive. My favorite saying is “The negative in our lives only sets us up to appreciate the positive around that next corner”. Sometimes I think to myself ” this has been long wall, must be a GREAT corner!”. I have to remind myself sometimes that there is always that corner.
7. What inspires you, centers you, fulfills you- what is your passion?
My passion is first and foremost being the best mom I can be. After that, it’s helping people, and making those that I care about feel loved. When I see a smile on their faces, it makes my day. When I can make a stranger smile just because, that’s another day brightener.
8. How do you nurture yourself?
Unfortunately, I don’t do this as often as I should. Sometimes it’s as simple as putting aside a half hour to read a book, or take a bath. This week, it’s asking my parents to take my daughters while they are on school break so I can have some quiet time to myself. I LOVE live music, so I try very hard to get out to see a local band every few weeks. Just let my hair down, dance, sing, and escape from responsibility for a couple of hours. In the summer time, I may mow the lawn or walk in the woods. Often my nurturing time is taken in small 10-15 minute increments, but I’ve finally realized that they are necessary for my own sanity.
9. What does being authentic mean to you?
Authentic to me– being true to yourself.
Society tells us we should feel this way, or do it that way. We are each individuals and we know what’s right for us, what works for us. Some authentic mamas feel that home schooling and a vegan lifestyle is what is true to them, others may feel a complete green lifestyle works for them. And even others may feel that the convenience society allows us is what works. I just feel that it’s up to me as a mother to decide what works for my family– and staying true to that makes me Authentic. I choose to stay close to nature, to try a wholistic approach to life in general. I’m not perfect at it, and I’m still learning, but at the end of the day I can look myself in the mirror and know that I made decisions that I believe benefited me and my family.
10. Do you have any final thoughts or advice you would like to share with other mothers about how they can practice being authentic and nurture their passions in life?
LIVE your life. Don’t be afraid to try something new or go out on a limb once in a while. But– do so within your means and abilities. What I mean is, if you are on a shoestring budget, don’t go spend money you don’t have to start a new hobby and end up giving yourself MORE stress. If you know you are afraid of heights, I wouldn’t suggest you make your new passion hang gliding. But– if you want to start wildcrafting herbs– get a book or two off amazon, or just research online — and go for it. If you want to try that compost pile in the back yard– give it a try. What have you got to lose?– probably a lot less than you have to gain from the spiritual boost you find from doing something Authentic to you !
