Today I ran across this quote “It is very difficult for your child’s horizons to be greater than your own.”
I came to the realization that when we limit ourselves we tend to try to place those same limits on our children.
I later ran across this article Would you like to stop worrying about what others think?
In it the author talks about limiting beliefs. Of course we do not want to limit our children! But if we limit ourselves we cannot see the unlimited potential in others. How broad is your horizon? Are you living your passion and purpose or are past beliefs holding you back?
Sometimes we go into autopilot mode and shift back to limiting ourselves by beliefs others have placed on us. I can really relate to this. When I was in second grade a teacher that I really admired told me I was ‘slow’ (turns out I have dyslexia). I excelled in reading but always had problems with spelling and math (I would reverse letters and numbers) I carried that with me for a long time and avoided all forms of writing. It wasn’t until I started following my passion that I broke through the barriers I had placed on myself and began writing (it was necessary to graduate from the program I was enrolled in!) I literally had to make myself do it! I have to admit I almost did not enroll in college because I was afraid I would be ‘called out’ or ‘discovered’ that I was dyslexic.
Now writing is a central part of my life. I use it to communicate with students, express myself through this blog, and even as a healing tool. I no longer even think about my dyslexia. In fact the dyslexia has given me a wonderful gift, I believe it has everything to do with why I am creative in other ways- other senses are amplified and I am an extreme right brain thinker. This enables me to be very creative!
The lesson I learned is don’t limit yourself! Even if you think that you may not do extremely well at something, if you feel pulled to do it, go for it! You will find a way! Others will come into help, you may find with practice you will get better, and thank God for spell check!!!!
In the process you may find you will go in a different direction, that is OK too! It is all part of the learning process. But the main thing is don’t completely avoid something out of fear and don’t accept labels that others put on you. Sometimes it may take some convincing (you have that ‘voice’, ‘gremlin’ or ‘ monkey mind’ whatever you may call it) sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it, as you see small goals getting accomplished your confidence will increase. Imagine yourself as what you want to become, I like writing and reading affirmations that I create for myself to solidify my new goal and direction (we use index cards for study tools- why not for goals too!) These are just a few things you can do to overcome those limiting beliefs that you have been placing on yourself. Remember it is only a thought and it can be changed.
Your kids will benefit as well as you pass these lessons on to them!
More resources…
Click here for Healing Emotional Wounds
Click here for Overcoming Self-Sabotage
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow– how true! My oldest daughter, Skyler, is what some people call a “mini me”. She looks like me, but she also acts so much like me. One thing I try to teach her that is different from myself at that age– have fun and BE a kid! Don’t worry about what others think– if you want it, go for it. So what if you’re not the best-if you enjoy it, that’s all that matters. I think a little “fall” now and then is good for the soul anyway. It reminds us we aren’t perfect! But- I also realize that my own ideals have limited her way of thinking in some ways. I believe academics are very important, and I crave knowledge- and she seeks it out as well. I think that seeing me put so much importance to it, though, has clouded her into thinking it’s ALL that’s important. If she gets an 80 on a test, she panics and has meltdown.
When I first divorced–10 years ago now!- it was difficult for me to do anything because I thought there was a certain expectation from those around me. That I had to work harder and struggle more to be the good mother, the good employee, the best friend– based on a PERCEPTION I had of what was expeceted. Little by little over the years I have learned that, although I LIKE the pats on the back and reassurance from others, it isn’t necessary to know I’m doing the right things.
I don’t raise my children in the same “norms” that either of my sisters do. I am much more open with them about life in general than most of my family agrees with. The downside to that is that it is difficult to discuss things with my mother or sisters when I need advice or another vies because they do not understand my parenting philosophy. The upside, however, is so much better. My kids will talk to me about anything– even the “inappropriate” stuff. If they hear a joke, they feel comfortable repeating it to me, if they have a question, they ask me– and even if they question the decisions of another adult in a position of authority– they will talk to me about it. I get to discuss things with my girls on a real level and correct any wrong ideas or information they have, and expand on important lessons that may have been missed.
Do my children need to worry about the bills getting paid or that I’m worried about my job on some days? Of course not, but is it ok for them to know that they CAN do things for themselves and mom doesn’t always have to be there to do it, that sex is something that is real and it’s ok to talk about it, or that mom does have a life outside the home– ABSOLUTELY!
Our children can only learn about the world we allow them to see– if we limit ourselves, they are missing a large part of what’s out side our world!
Great post! SO important to stop worrying about what others think…all it does is limit us!
Thanks for sharing with us Angela! You are doing a wonderful job mothering! I can see that you don’t put limits on yourself or your kids! You broke out of the box or norm, it’s awesome!
Thanks for stopping by positively present! Your blog is one of my favorites:)
Love the blog. And great post. So happy to see that which is authentic and tru, being passed to little ones. Thank- you.
Peace,
Molly
Molly’s last blog post..On death–again
Good post! When we don’t limit ourselves we can do so many things we were always told we couldn’t or shouldn’t do. What do “they” know anyway?? And if whatever we chose to do doesn’t excite us like we thought it would, then stay unlimited and move on to something else. At least we tried it!
Thanks for the post; I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you molly! It is a pleasure to have you stop by! Yes, I do feel it is so important that we are a good role model for the kids, that’s how they learn!