Be authentic, but don’t be self righteous about it.

” Too often we get hung up on the form of our growth, trying to find the “right” way to do it and then being self-righteous with others about our personal approach” From Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken: Transform Your Life with the Power of Authenticity

It’s pretty exciting when we are learning and growing and it really seems to be working for us. Whether it is a new spiritual path, a form of parenting style, or a lifestyle change, when we have that ‘ah ha’ moment it is tempting to tell everyone we care about it so they can experience the joy too.

There is nothing wrong with sharing what you know and your enthusiasm, and there is nothing wrong with setting boundaries if others cross the line.

However, as I mentioned in my self awareness post When it comes to being truly authentic, the intention is bigger than being ego driven (comes from our true authentic self- not based on seeking approval).

How many times have you met someone who ‘found’ a new spiritual path, diet plan, or parenting tactic and all of a sudden they are putting you down for your lack of following it- they must be right no matter the cost! By them being right it affirms that what they are following is okay, and they must have your approval. If you don’t agree with them then there is something wrong with you (even though just last year they were cheating on their husband in the back seat of the family minivan behind the pub- but now they have seen the light, and it is their job to judge you).

You may be asking ‘what about constructive criticism? ‘ well, if it is not asked for it is not welcome. Even when advice is asked for getting to preachy can be a big turn off. People are not going to be shamed into changing, and it is not going to inspire them to embrace your ‘right’ views.

Even if what you are doing is working wonders for you, it may not be ‘right’ for everyone else. A big part of being authentic is being compassionate and accepting of others, even if you don’t agree.

When you place your focus on others you are taking the focus off yourself. When it comes to self growth, what others are doing is not really that important.

What is important and what you should be asking yourself is:

• What do I need to deal with and heal inside myself in order to be the best version of myself I can be?
• How can I create the best environment or circumstance in which my growth will be supported and enhanced?
• What do I need to be fulfilled?

Choosing to grow and REALLY knowing yourself is hard stuff- for some it is a lifelong journey. We are all growing and changing, we can support each other with compassion without being judgmental.

Have you ever had someone judge you when you try to be more authentic? Leave your comments below I would love to hear from you!

Related articles

• Mike Robbins: Seeing Adversity As Happening for Us, Not to Us (huffingtonpost.com)

Hello everyone! Just a quick not to let everyone know I decided to bring back the blog Authentic Mama!

I still have plans for a group/ website in the future, but in the meantime I miss blogging!

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