Self Esteem- Why it is crucial …and  a few resources for you!

Without High Self Esteem You Cannot Be Authentic

Why work on your self esteem? There are a lot of ‘self help’ programs out there that say they will take you to the next level, give you the one secret to success, change your life for the better- and they may!

However, if you do not have high self esteem for a foundation, your choices will not be coming from a place of authenticity.

People with high self esteem don’t conform to what other people impose on to them- but instead make their decisions based on what is true to them…. they follow their own heart!

Here are some major areas in your life that self esteem effects:

1. Your chosen field of study/ work

2. Beliefs

3. Goals

4. Habits

5. Lifestyle

6. Relationships

7. Choices

In future articles we will be going into detail with this inner work (your self esteem), we will explore where the above areas are actually coming from (are they authentic to you or are your beliefs/ choices / habits/ values coming from other sources).

Change is never easy, and most people rarely take personal responsibly for their life. If you have high self esteem (self love, self worth) you are rich (whether you have money or not) – when you focus on your self esteem and your own authenticity, your gifts and your purpose will become clear to you and you will be able to make the right choices for yourself.

When you have high self esteem it will be easier for you to deal with the backlash you will receive when you attempt to change for the better. You would think that others would want the best for you, but when you change this is scary to them because the person they know is not your full authentic self (when you have low self esteem you make choices based on seeking approval rather than what is best for you- they judge you based on these choices)- so they believe in the old you- not the REAL you.

The good news is that when you are yourself your true friends will stay true and all others will not be in the picture anymore (their dysfunctional ways no longer work for you, and this does not work for them either- they will be on a different path).

When your self esteem is high you stop sabotaging yourself, even when failure occurs you realize it is part of the learning journey.

Notice how ‘lifestyle’ is one of the areas? Yes self esteem even affects your lifestyle- living a WHOLEistic life (being in balance) depends on your sense of self worth- since this is what your choices are based on!

So be the light not the judge! Set the example by making your self worth and self esteem a priority daily. This is an ongoing exercise.

***You need support. Surround yourself with supportive people with the same goals in mind. I found a really cool community called BraveHeart Women. I like this community because it has a lot of choices (you can search the community and find resources like passion and purpose, self esteem and empowerment, personal prosperity, global contribution as well as private communities). There are also blogs and discussions- a great resource for women!

BraveHeart Women Global Community Mission Statement:

To connect the Women of the world together in order to receive & give Inspiration in the areas of Self-Esteem, Empowerment, Purpose, Passion and Personal Prosperity while enhancing the world by being Brave Women who live from the Heart.

***Notice how ‘Brave’ is in the title? It does take courage to live from your heart:) If you are on a journey to be your true authentic self I applaud you!

More Resources:

If you love herbalism and wilderness awareness, the Anima Center has excellent holistic courses that include inner work as well- one of my personal mentors is Kiva Rose Hardin- if she has space available I encourage you to check out her courses if you feel she is a good fit.

There are many other online communities out there (as well as local support in your area). Find what fits for you and make your inner work a priority!

What are your thoughts on self esteem? Have you ever had a challenging experience with someone close to you who has low self esteem? Have you made wrong choices for you based on your low self esteem at the time? I would love to hear about it in the comments below!

Related articles

• 10 ways to value yourself and your family -boost self esteem (authenticmama.com)
• Why do Some Children Have Low Self-Esteem and Depression? (brighthub.com)

Hello everyone! It’s the weekend so I won’t make this too long. I wanted to write a quick post about a new resource I found on the web. Although I have not read Amy Kovarick’s book Baby on Board: Becoming a Mother without Losing Yourself-A Guide for Moms-to-Be, I ran across her radio show Empowered Motherhood.

When I found the website the first show that popped out at me was  Being A Selfish Mother- of course I wanted to listen! This may sound odd but being ‘selfish’ is something I need to work in! Putting my needs on the priority list is something I need to consciously work on or it would not get done. It is easy to get in the habit of putting everything and everyone first, then I find I get burned out and need my milky oats!

In the show Amy talks with Felisha owner of the company Trans formative Journey – they discuss balancing her at home business while her girls are home with her, juggling nap times, marketing, her clients,  and responding to social media requests (emails, posts, etc) with mothering and work. She discusses with her how she can better balance her life and make it a win/ win for her and her daughters. As a mom if you work at home online I am sure you can relate!

She also talks to a stay at home dad Kevin who says it is easier for dads to be selfish- very enlightening! He talks about how he nourishes and refreshes himself, and how this recharges him. He gives ‘Daily Daddy’ top 10 tips to revive yourself and why breaks are important daily.

I know that being selfish is a ‘bad’ word to most people and being selfless is noble. I think the key is finding a healthy balance. In the show the question is asked “where do you fall on the spectrum” of selfish and selfless (being completely one or the other is not healthy).  We definitely need to nourish our own needs or we cannot be there for our children.

This was a fun radio show:)

What are your thoughts on being a ‘selfish’ mother?

Related articles

• Mark McGrath: My Kids Have Made Me Selfless (celebritybabies.people.com)

“Why is it that when I don’t know what I want, there is always someone waiting to tell me what it is? I’m just lucky I guess. ~ Anne Wilson Schaef

Do you really know what your needs are?

If you are not living authentically, you may wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and wonder who the person is that is staring back at you.

If we get used to doing what everyone else expects of us, we may loose the ability to determine what we want. We may get confused about what it is exactly that is good and right for us.  Our needs are not being met because we do not know what those needs are.

Unless you know what you want, what your values are, and what is right for you, you cannot be an honest person. You are not only being dishonest with yourself, but you are being dishonest with everyone you are trying to please. You may think you are pleasing them, but the reality is they will never get to know the real you.

People who will try to punish you for being authentic

In The Essential Laws of Fearless Living by Guy Finley he states ” Walk away from anyone who “helps” you to feel that it’s necessary for you to hurt; leave anyone who causes you pain for “your own good”.

Often we may fear being authentic about our wants, needs and values because of the reaction of others. In my view, honesty is the best policy. Real love is unconditional.

“Never accept as natural or necessary any relationship outwardly- or inwardly – with a person or psychological state that punishes you. Say “NO” and just go! A whole new independent life awaits you.” Guy Finely

Here is a great needs inventory from the Center For Nonviolent Communication

This list may help you in your path to authenticity, do you recognize any of these needs that may not be getting met in your life right now? Are you able to communicate these needs in a healthy way with others?

Here are some great products and resources:   Guy Finely Fearless Living