From there my journey took me on a path to discover the reasons I believed anything I believed…was there strong reasons to believe them?

2. What words of wisdom would you like to share about mothering? This too shall pass! Though there are many moments when I get tired of giving (two 21 month old’s nursing off an on for an hour during the ONLY show you watch all week on TV…or holding one in each arm with fevers all night) I know that I will NEVER regret having done all I could at this stage in their lives to BE THERE for them as much as possible. Yes, they have demanded much of me. But they are the most important things in my life besides my husband, and these moments are an investment. It isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it.

3. How do you channel your creativity? This one depends! I have always liked crafting with my hands, and I’ve had ideas in my head for years that just float around. I didn’t discover my love for clay until my second child was a year old. I tried polymer clay, but it wasn’t quite for me. Then I tried ceramic clay, and I LOVE it. Before that, I also did a lot of corn husk dolls. And after the twins were born, I tried needle felting, which is sculpting with wool, basically. I also do things with the kids and enjoy seeing them experience something for the first time.

4. How do you harmonize motherhood and creativity? It isn’t easy…When my first child was born, I didn’t do much for myself that first year except read while she napped in my arms. But when she turned one, I was able to start doing a craft for an hour or so at a time while she played with finger paints or something. After my second was born, it was also about a year before I got into the clay while they played with playdoh or something else special (and eventually they also played in the clay with me.)  After the twins were born, it was really, really tough. I daydreamed about my clay, A LOT!. I tried the needle felting as a substitute that wasn’t so messy and could be halted easier to rush upstairs to nurse again. But eventually, I just HAD to try the clay again, so when we moved our kitchen up next to our living room and put our dining table there, I decided to bring all my stuff down from the attic and put it in my old art supply containers from college (an art bin for the small stuff and a portfolio for the big stuff) and now I have easy access to my clay and a place to work that is easy to clean. The babies play with playdoh while I’m playing, and the older two play with the clay. Now that they are older, the babies play much longer periods without needing my direct interaction, and I find that I am SO happy after completing an idea that I give back to them by playing more in depth or doing something out of the ordinary for them (going to the mall to ride the “rides” when I normally wouldn’t, etc.)  Clay is the one thing I can do that doesn’t need re-done later, unlike dishes, laundry, diapers, picking up toys. I can feel a sense of accomplishment, even if it’s just for my pure enjoyment. I’d love it if it someday led to some extra cash, but that day, if it happens, is far off.

5. Do you have a recent experience or challenge that has changed you (please explain how/why)? I think the twins would be the biggest challenge in my life thus far. I was expecting my third baby and was prepared to be the perfect mom, having done it two times before. I’d sling the baby and still go on our daily walk, get groceries, go to the library, playground, etc. But two babies…who nurse…not easy at all. Especially when they don’t like car seats, as my kids never have. So no grocery trips until they were over 6 months and sitting up…no playground trips as I can’t hold two babies that long and supervise the older two. No trips to libraries as the babies would fuss and I couldn’t nurse two in public very easily, and neither accepted pacifiers. No trips to Grandma’s three hours away as I couldn’t nurse both at the same time in the car and they both wanted to…No extra leg to hold my older “baby” on as I had two babies, each requiring their own leg to sit on…

It’s been very hard attachment parenting twins. But I know no other way of parenting. As they’ve gotten older, I’ve slowly gotten more and more “freedoms” back, and we are going to the store, library, and playgrounds again. It’s still a bit more hectic than one baby might be, but it’s doable. There are times I look at moms with only one baby and feel a twinge of envy as they cuddle that one child or hand it over to Daddy. But on the other hand, I have two wonderful children and I AM “handling” it, and enjoying it. It is what it is, and I’ve learned that it’s okay not to be like other people. My kids aren’t missing out – they just get a different experience.

6. What would you like to say to other mothers going through the similar challenges? It will get better! I promise! Just stick with it, do what you can when you can, and don’t think about all the “what-if’s.” It won’t change anything, anyway…

7. What inspires you, centers you, fulfills you- what is your passion? To be honest, my passion, when all is said and done, is to live life and to ENJOY IT. I do my clay because it’s FUN for me…I try to do bring out the fun side of all things in life for my kids – even work. Life is so short and precious. There is responsibility and lessons to be learned, of course. But it should also be enjoyed if possible. I am so blessed to live in a country and town where I can life a wonderful life, and to give my children a wonderful life, and hopefully pass that blessing on by helping other people and making their lives richer in some way, especially those less fortunate than us. I want to be thankful of what I have, and take advantage of our opportunities. We can be happy and be unselfish at the same time…in fact, giving to others often MAKES one happy…

8. How do you nurture yourself? Reading books for fun, playing with my clay, learning new things, and talking to other people about life in general.

9. What does being authentic mean to you? For me, and I’m still learning, it means not trying to live up to someone else’s idea of perfect. I keep finding people whom I admire and making the mistake to try to be just like them, failing, and feeling rotten. Then I step back and realize that even though their arguments are sound, they AREN’T ME. There is no study in the world that shows that one particular way of doing things, however great, will make your kids turn out awesome and fulfilled. I’ve seen both ends of several spectrums that have great examples for their style of living, so one can’t say that one was better than the other ALL THE TIME. So even if I don’t follow exactly the lifestyle I want to emulate most, that doesn’t mean I’m missing the mark. I’m simply catering that style to my own family and desires and needs so that WE are happy. The most recent example would be radical unschooling, as defined by some. I tried to figure out exactly what it was and how to do it, and felt miserable for weeks that I couldn’t seem to grasp it. We are so close to that definition, but not close enough. And yet I see families all the time in school, schooled-at-home, or otherwise who are close-nit, happy, and REAL. And I see teenagers who are close to their parents who aren’t unschooled at all…and while they MAY be the minority, the point I took away from it is that unschooling isn’t THE thing that brought the families together…there are other factors at play. Many of the same ideas exist between these families, I’m sure…but they aren’t centered around one certain way of living. It’s the desire to be close and ACT on that desire and fix your mistakes as you see them…to be REAL in the first place and raw with each other, not fake and distant.

I think just being open to ideas and willing to change your mind about what is right, and allowing yourself to be “wrong” a few times…finding what feels best for you and your family regardless of any book, advice or otherwise. When all is said and done, if you live your life true to yourself and benefit those around you instead of bring them down…the details won’t have mattered. And finding what you are meant to be and following it is something that may take a lifetime, and include twists and turns you never anticipated!